Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
