Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Jerry, you need to find god
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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