I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
