i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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