I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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