I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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