If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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