The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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