she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
