just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
