okay pat passed out under dana's car
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
