I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
now i know why i became what i already was.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
