dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
