i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
