How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the day after is always just damage control
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
