Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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