I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
