A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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