i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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