Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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