Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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