explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
