Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Randomize
