"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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