I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
