So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
