Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
