she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
