How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
