I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
