in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
