I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
