I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
