dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
