Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
and you fell through a lawn chair
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
