How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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