your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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