Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
