and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
