just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
