we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
