i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
