i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
