didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
