I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
