He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
