That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
