Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Are my feet made of real feet?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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