They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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