I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
