i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
